Tampa Tribune, Nation and World Section, 4/21/04:

"Tampa 1st Stop In Kerry's Environmental Initiative"

"Cranking up his initiative in an environmentally dependent and fragile state, the Massachusetts senator even sought to enlist local wildlife.  'He's saying "Help!  Help!  Help!"' Kerry quipped when his entourage spotted a dolphin from the end of the Ballast Point pier."

I don't know about you, but it's comforting to think that the presumptive Democratic nominee for President of the United States is fluent not only in French, but also in dolphinese.  Maybe if he's elected, he'll persuade sea creatures to help us out, along with NATO and the United Nations, with the war on terror.

I wonder if it was the dolphins that told him about all of the atrocities our troops committed on a daily basis in  Veitnam.  Maybe they're carrying messages back and forth between him the numerous  world leaders who support his candidacy.     

I'll bet you a bottle of Heinz ketchup that if dolphin boy is elected president, he'll put the fix in so that Miami wins the Super Bowl in 2005.  You don't think all those dolphins are working for free, do you? 

Publius, 4/25/04 

I just took a look at www.democraticunderground.com.  What an asinine website.  If you haven't been there, I hope you check it out soon.  These knuckleheads have their own little set of rules governing postings on their discussion forum, which is all too typical of the liberal mentality:  you will be banned from our website if you disagree with us.  You will be banned from our website if you say anything bad about the democratic party.  You will be banned from the website if you post anything "homophobic, anti-religious, or pro-Bush, etc., etc. etc. ad nauseum.  Dear friends, you will never see such rules on the Publius site, I assure you.

The point is that these people do not like, and will not countenance, dissent.  They consider that the First Amendment, like the Second Amendment, is a vestigial throw-back to days of yore, which has no place in the modern collectivist, think-alike world.  It's their way, or the highway.  And if they had their way, that's how it would be in America.  They'd take away our guns, then they'd take away our right to think for ourselves.

These whiners call their little site a "big tent" message board.  What a joke.  Democratic Underground, whoever you are, you should hang your sorry, totalitarian head in shame.

-Publius, 4/20/04

What's all this about "civil unions?"  Why should the rest of us have to suffer through marriages while the gays get the benefit of a lesser standard?  Publius says, make 'em marry the bitch!  That way, they'll learn the annoyance of having to toe the line on pain of divorce, beg for a night out with the boys, and suffer through comments like "you drink too much," "you smell like perfume [or after shave]," etc.  And when they do divorce, they have to pay alimony.  It's apparent that the gays haven't thought this through sufficiently.

Publius, 4/19/04 

Actress Jennifer Anniston recently called President Bush "a f***ing idiot."  And what is Jennifer?  A babe with a pretty face and a good body, who can walk and chew gum at the same time, and memorize a few lines of dialogue.  What makes Jennifer particularly qualified to comment on anyone's intellectual capacity?  From what I have seen from her T.V. and movie roles, she seems to gravitate toward playing empty-headed broads.

Now, maybe I have gotten the wrong impression of Jennifer.  For all I know, off-screen, she may be a genius.  Perhaps she spends her leisure time reading De Toqueville and Machiavelli, and impresses her friends with her knowledge of political philosophy.  Perhaps she would be chosen as the secretary of state in a John Kerry administration.  But somehow, I think not.  I think that Jennifer is a low brow, who has absorbed a lot of liberal babble from her Hollywood friends.

More importantly, no one would care about what Jennifer thinks if it weren't for her celebrity.  Do these left coast starlets really exert any influence on the way people vote?  Or do their liberal rantings do more harm to their cause than good?

One thing is for certain, I will not watch another one of her movies or TV shows, no matter how perky her breasts may be.  She's on the Publius Hollywood Blacklist.

Yesterday, I saw Jon Bon Jovi appear at a John Kerry rally on some college campus, before a throng of cheering students.  It's frightening that these media idols can draw crowds of impressionable young people to hear double-speak and mendacity from a dyed-in-the-wool, Kennedy-esque Massachusetts socialist. 

One thing for sure, I will never buy another Bon Jovi CD.  The only way to take the wind out of the sails of these Hollywood goons is to quit patronizing their art.  The hell of it is, However, that if Bon Jovi's sales did begin to suffer, or if Jennifer's box office declined, they'd probably blame it on Kazaa or on Mel Gibson.  They'd never get the message.

Take my advice, Jennifer.  Stick to posing naked on the cover of the Rolling Stone.  It'll give your career a lot more mileage if you show American males, who are a conservative lot, your shapely little derriere, instead of your big, fat liberal, Clinton-loving mouth.

--Publius, 4/18/04.