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Sunday, April 25th 2004

2:11 PM

Kerry Communicates With Dolphins

Tampa Tribune, Nation and World Section, 4/21/04:

"Tampa 1st Stop In Kerry's Environmental Initiative"

"Cranking up his initiative in an environmentally dependent and fragile state, the Massachusetts senator even sought to enlist local wildlife.  'He's saying "Help!  Help!  Help!"' Kerry quipped when his entourage spotted a dolphin from the end of the Ballast Point pier."

I don't know about you, but it's comforting to think that the presumptive Democratic nominee for President of the United States is fluent not only in French, but also in dolphinese.  Maybe if he's elected, he'll persuade sea creatures to help us out, along with NATO and the United Nations, with the war on terror.

I wonder if it was the dolphins that told him about all of the atrocities our troops committed on a daily basis in  Veitnam.  Maybe they're carrying messages back and forth between him the numerous  world leaders who support his candidacy.     

I'll bet you a bottle of Heinz ketchup that if dolphin boy is elected president, he'll put the fix in so that Miami wins the Super Bowl in 2005.  You don't think all those dolphins are working for free, do you? 

Publius, 4/25/04 

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